My Anthem

Strange how people you have never met, can make sense to you. Maybe it's because our brains takes what we want and discard the rest. What am i talking about, someone might ask. See, when i proscratinate i read blogs, read friendster testimonials, try to find new tunes etc etc.

The most intriguing thing for me is that i learn quite a bit from the blogs and testimonials of people i barely know. Qoutes such as "It’s not wrong to feel for someone, it's wrong to force that someone to feel for you," make bloody good sense and once upon a time shed some light, but maybe a little too late. I suddenly i realise if i take all this little interesting bits, i can form my life anthem loosely based on other people expressions and experiences.

Basically the key ingredient is to "do the right thing" as a chinese bag seller might say in Pacific Mall. Anyways i realise to stand by that is the ultimate thing. The flaw though is that sometimes the right thing is vague. What am i trying to say is at the end of the day, how terrible or painful a situation is, it is importatn to do what is right and forgo our selfish thoughts. Like Spiderman say "Sometimes we have to be steady and do the right thing even if it means giving up your dreams". I think i have been watching too much comic movies.

Another important ingredient, is humility, to realise one is human and full of flaws that we have limited time span of our life to try remedy it. I guess we should never believe our own myth. Believing it is the start of a downward spiral to a painful fall. Self confidence is needed without a doubt but when get caught up in our arogance then we have fallen into our own trap. As my housemate says my biggest enemy is myself.

Sometimes in life we get so consumed with its poisoned like anger, hate, pride to name a few we lose the plot. All this hate and misunderstandings is not worth being shouldered in a lifetime. It is important to let go of pride, to accept responsibilty and blame. to pay our dues, to forgive, to give without expectations, to have intergrity, to ask for forgiveness, to be big enough to take high road not because its noble but because it is the right thing to do.

In life i hope i'm able to bring my share. My life has been stalling, it has reach a cross road, where i have decide which path i want to take that will probably permanently define me for the rest of my natural life. To be honest i'm struggling to pick and walk the path, that is why i'm stalling. Once upon a time, i had a purpose and was never really bothered by the crowd. I have clearly lost the plot, or rather my plot was flawed to begin with and find myself crumbling down like crumbly biscuits. I know that was a horrible metaphore couldn't think of a better one.

I'm so hoping and i can get through this tunnel and greet the light that is at the end of it. Tunnel meaning my conandrum and the light my solution. It is a long tunnel and i don't really see the light but i hear is really great and it does exist. I believe i can get there but i have to get up first and preservere through my self doubt and confusion that has clouded every passing day. Maybe i overthink it, which i shouldn't but i find myself just feeling so lost. I miss having a purpose.

"I'm worst at what i do best and for this gift i feel bleesed" -Nirvana, Smells Like Teen Spirit_

I Love Football, what can i say

I realy love it. It is only thing i can really talk or type about. Anyways here's my futsal update brought to you by Just Juice 100% juice, no added sugar.

My team has disintegrated within weeks, The withdrawal of my goalie and midfielder has left me without a team. The non commital stance of prospective defender is not helping the cause, instead i have decided join another team. But that team, i'm not sure if its complete. The fate of my futsal career hangs in the balance.

On a brighter note my championship manager dream team is doing pretty great and might actually go down in the history of the game. It's bustling with talent and youthful exuberance. The latest news is the signing of versatile foward Andrea Gasbaronni on a loan. He's really quick and an excellent crosser. We have agreed terms that allows us to a have 5 million purchase option when the loan expires. My defense is solid and won't need much tempering , it is my foward line in which i can't decide on a set formation. However i have flexibility in my squad which is a good thing . At the moment the team primaily plays a 4-1-2-3 formation. My foward line consists of two flexible attacking wingers supporting a lone striker. I like this formation the most. I'll keep you guys posted.

What makes football great? I have no idea but i guess it's the moments of genius in the field of play. Winger jinking and making fullbacks look like fools, geometrical patterns of passing that lead to a goal. Someone taking down a ball with a breathless technique of control and make it look like a piece of cake. Accurate diagonal passes measured precisely into the stride of attacking players running into space. Ingenius improvisations by players in tough positions. Full hearted sliding tackles perfectly timed that dispossess the opponent. Point blank reflex saves. 30 yrads screamers, flying headers, defender flinging their bodies at opponents shots, goalline clearence, lungbursting runs by fullbacks, bending free kicks, cheeky backheels, amazing come backs, spectacular volleys, bulldozing runs, last minute winners, commentators screaming at the top of their voice. The buzz and privilidge of witnessing a moment genius that you will forever keep in your mental scrap book and retell countless times.

Friday night, procrastinating as usual.

I am a fan of Sarah Mclachlan's music. There something poetic and truthful about her lyrics. Her voice is lovely yet haunting. Her songs are filled with so much emotions, you could almost feel it pouring into your soul from its melodies. I strangely fine solace in her music, its comforting and just great to listen to. I'll review a few of her songs here based on my personal opinion.

Probably my favourite of her songs is "Adia". The introduction of the song speaks of regret despite the person trying his or her best. " Adia i do believe i failed you, Adia i know i let you down, but don't you know i tried so hard to love you in my way". It speaks of losing someone dear to you, whether it be a close friend or even oneself. Sometimes the lost of someone close or the lost of innocence is so painful and it becomes so overbearing. At the end of the day she realize's we are not perfect and it's important to forgive oneself for their mistakes.

Then there is the simple love song "ice cream". With Mclachlan's vocals and accompanied by the beating symbols in the background, the song manages the capture the best feeling in the world, being in love. There is something sincere about this song, it is not your standard love song filled with sappy statement professing ones love but instead filled with simple words, words when someone is trully happy and blissfully in love. It not so much the lyrics but the feeling it conveys. A song that feels personal, that only the two lovers get it. It's not filled with blind optimism but just blissful joy and also knowing that love is not easy.

"Possesion" in my opinion probably contains her most poetic of lyrics. The song puts in you into the mind and the raw emotion of an individual scarily obssesed with another. It's lyrics vividly potray the emotions of being obssesed and how it consumes. Her voice its at its haunting best conveying repressed emotions of the obssesion. Frightening the obssesion maybe but somehow strangely familiar to most. I reccomend hearing both the recorded version and also the live mirrorball version which has excellent live music. I love the way she ends the song in the live version.

Another gem is the song "good enough". It's about loving someone and not being able to comprehend why someone so beautiful chooses to be with someone who think's he or she is not good enough. The individual deserves so much more and is so much more than good enough.

Among other songs which are highlights are the sad "do what you have to do" and "hold on", the ever popular, soothing and comforting "angels", the regretful "i love you", the vocal soaring "fear" & "mary". the humbling "world's on fire" and her rendition of Beatles "blackbird".

I greatly recommend her songs for those who have not really heard of her.

Love's like a bomb - Oasis

Have been listening to the latest Oasis album, it has been a calm week. I'm practically off almost the whole week due to public holidays. Watch United 93 the night before, it is scary to think abt the world as humans constantly find ways to end our own existence. The only way i guess human will stop fighting among each other is to have a common enemy. So bring on the aliens.

I'll be entering a new realm next year as i probably would graduate and start working. Yes yours trully is going be an adult, work day and night, staying back to meet datelines and if i'm lucky able to catch spiderman 3 in cinemas in the same time. Hope i have determination and single mindedness to get thru it.

To be honest, i have a million thoughts but seem unable to blog or put my thoughts into words. Guess maybe this isn't my thing

Will be going to EKKA tomorrow and maybe watch Miami vice. An exciting event is coming up. Futsal tournament. If lucky i have alraedy 2 recruits for my team, an imposing figure as a goalie, a certified lifeguard to be the engine in my teams midfield. However the verdict is still out on the signing of an untried defender in my team. His leggy presence might give the team some defensive cover, but his inexperience is worrying. He has yet to decide. So now i need four more players. Probably need a defender, a striker and two flexible midfield players. The name of the game is fun, hope we'll do well and also have a great time. With a bit of luck, my team might just create a few upsets. Yet to decide on a team name. A few ideas, among them are vegemight, corinthians casuals, nasi kandar fc, thorpe street. I'll keep myself posted.

You look like...... a perfect fit. - Aimee Mann

Feelin kinda tired, had a long day in uni. Life passes day by the day without much purpose, have to get my act together. Been reading some blogs mostly those of my friends. It's actually interesting to note how humans are voyeurs. We all do it by checking out other ppl's blogs, going to the movies, reading tabloid magazine dan lain-lain. We love to have a peak into other ppl's life.

I have devise a few plans. First i will adopt the Queensland Roar as my soccer team of the A League. They have just sign the Beckham of China to bolster their ranks. His nickname is more for his out of field activities rather than his dead ball abilities. Anyways plan to go watch this guys play live. Been an soccer enthusiast but never had the whole stadium experience on a regular basis. So i guess i can do this now.

Isn't it ironic. I have stayed in Malaysia for 2o years ++ of my life and when i'm overseas the world cup trophy decides to be displayed in Berjaya Times Square, just my luck. Would love to have been there see the trophy. Too bad for me, i guess i'll just have to win the tournament to get my chance to view trophy. A boy can always dream.

Ekka week will be approaching soon, it's some like festival thingy for a few days in Brisbane. Heard got exhibitions and rides. Its a big thing here as coz of it i have a few days of in Uni.

Things that amaze and dumbfounding. I friend recently let me watch this show called "the puppetry of the penis" and man those guy have play dohs for dicks. It was shocking and painful as this 2 guys standing naked on stage shape shift their bits and pieces into monuments among them the eifel tower. I mean how do grown up man do that and not get seriouly hurt. In one instance he rearrange his privates and his balls were above his dick. Crazy shit. Imagine when he was a kid and discovered his unique and disturbing talent. I'm sure his parents had more than they bargained for when he decided present for them his unique puppet show. Besides that they actually sell books teaching the ways of the penis puppetry. Something i must get my friends for christmas.