My Anthem

Strange how people you have never met, can make sense to you. Maybe it's because our brains takes what we want and discard the rest. What am i talking about, someone might ask. See, when i proscratinate i read blogs, read friendster testimonials, try to find new tunes etc etc.

The most intriguing thing for me is that i learn quite a bit from the blogs and testimonials of people i barely know. Qoutes such as "It’s not wrong to feel for someone, it's wrong to force that someone to feel for you," make bloody good sense and once upon a time shed some light, but maybe a little too late. I suddenly i realise if i take all this little interesting bits, i can form my life anthem loosely based on other people expressions and experiences.

Basically the key ingredient is to "do the right thing" as a chinese bag seller might say in Pacific Mall. Anyways i realise to stand by that is the ultimate thing. The flaw though is that sometimes the right thing is vague. What am i trying to say is at the end of the day, how terrible or painful a situation is, it is importatn to do what is right and forgo our selfish thoughts. Like Spiderman say "Sometimes we have to be steady and do the right thing even if it means giving up your dreams". I think i have been watching too much comic movies.

Another important ingredient, is humility, to realise one is human and full of flaws that we have limited time span of our life to try remedy it. I guess we should never believe our own myth. Believing it is the start of a downward spiral to a painful fall. Self confidence is needed without a doubt but when get caught up in our arogance then we have fallen into our own trap. As my housemate says my biggest enemy is myself.

Sometimes in life we get so consumed with its poisoned like anger, hate, pride to name a few we lose the plot. All this hate and misunderstandings is not worth being shouldered in a lifetime. It is important to let go of pride, to accept responsibilty and blame. to pay our dues, to forgive, to give without expectations, to have intergrity, to ask for forgiveness, to be big enough to take high road not because its noble but because it is the right thing to do.

In life i hope i'm able to bring my share. My life has been stalling, it has reach a cross road, where i have decide which path i want to take that will probably permanently define me for the rest of my natural life. To be honest i'm struggling to pick and walk the path, that is why i'm stalling. Once upon a time, i had a purpose and was never really bothered by the crowd. I have clearly lost the plot, or rather my plot was flawed to begin with and find myself crumbling down like crumbly biscuits. I know that was a horrible metaphore couldn't think of a better one.

I'm so hoping and i can get through this tunnel and greet the light that is at the end of it. Tunnel meaning my conandrum and the light my solution. It is a long tunnel and i don't really see the light but i hear is really great and it does exist. I believe i can get there but i have to get up first and preservere through my self doubt and confusion that has clouded every passing day. Maybe i overthink it, which i shouldn't but i find myself just feeling so lost. I miss having a purpose.

"I'm worst at what i do best and for this gift i feel bleesed" -Nirvana, Smells Like Teen Spirit_